I was chatting with S on MSN and somehow this topic came up: when was the last time you cried?

 

I couldn't remember when was the last time I cried in real life, but I do remember last time I cried in dreams. I was traveling with my dad and my step mom in thailand.  I took them to the beaches and we stayed at modest but nice resorts. We usually played in the water during the day, went back to the hotel room to take a nap in the afternoon till dust and then headed out to the beach again for candle light dinners.  It was so nice and I couldn't help thinking that I would never be able to treat my mom like this.  She passed away almost 20 years ago.

 

I had a dream one afternoon while taking a nap in the hotel room, couldn't remember any details except that I was saying good bye to her.  For some reason we both knew it was forever,  we hugged for the last time, and I cried.

dear comrades,

 

Please don't scream if you see me naked, you're just plain lucky.

 

It's only been 4 days but I have already made friends with the Thai guy that I saw at the gym. I invited him to my apartment last night for a drink but he only asked for a glass of warm water once he got here.  He's actually quite sweet, better looking when dressed and very shy,  the warm water seemed to open him up as effectively as a bottle of wine.  So he told me his life story:  he's living   with his Chinese boyfriend in the building right next to mine.  His boyfriend apparently supports him because he doesn't work at all.  He doesn't go to school either.  He told me in broken english how he tried for 2 days:" it sooo far!  I hat to get up at 6 thirty!"

 

So he doesn't work, doesn't go to school, and had lived in Beijing for 3 years.  Rarely goes to clubs, because his boyfriend gets jeolous. But he told me he's actually very busy: from monday to friday when hubby goes to work, he plays cards with his thai friends in the apt complex.  (There are quite a few thais in this neighborhood, mostly girls married to expats.) When hubby gets home, they'll have dinner together prepared by Ayi, and would sometimes go to the gym to play pingpong. He learned the chinese national sport from his hubby.  On weekends they would go shopping and cook dinner themselves because Ayi takes weekends off.  Sometimes they would invite friends for more card playing.

 

I invited him to come to my housewarming party this saturday, he said he couldn't because he's heading back to Thailand this friday. His boyfriend's mother is returning to stay with the son from New Zealand for a month or 2.  Even though she knows about them it's just not a good idea to live with your mother-in-law, especially when you can't produce a grandson!  He misses thailand very much anyway.

 

I know this is a boring piece, but it might be inspirational for my friend Denny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear comrades,

 

Please don't scream if a hot naked smooth hunk grabbed you in the shower when you were only trying to pick up your fragrant soap, because you must be dreaming and you'll only wake yourself up.

 

So I went to the gym again tonight, this time after 9.  Did the same routine, swam for 5 minutes and hit the sauna.  But apprarrently at this hour the gym has slid into a middle-age-chinese-men-humming-in-the-shower phase from its previous shameless-gay-cruising phase.  The hot naked norwegian guy is nowhere to be seen, and not even a single blond or tattooed asian!  All there is are a couple out-of-shape chinese leaders parading around, of course naked, so comfortable in their pale skin they had to hum:

 

we're Siiiiting highhhh...on top of the piled haysacks

liiiistening to mama...telling an oooooold stooooory....

 

not without a pinch of trueful melancholy nostalgia, in this windowless underground gym, at a lonesome hour.

 

one a separate note:

 

Dear comrades,

 

Please don't scream if you see your own naked body in the mirror.

 

So I went to the gym in the club house again tonight.  Swam for about 10 minutes and hit the sauna. Dry sauna was empty, I went in with my wet swim trunks. Just before I got in, this blond-hair-asian-face guy threw a hard look at me as he passed the door.   I knew I was cruised, got kinda excited not because of the guy, but the cruising itself. I felt like home again for a few minutes --- gyms are supposed to be cruisy, it's heart-warming to know that even in Beijing it's not an exception.  Swimming pool, sauna, locker rooms, peeks in the shower.  All the familiar rituals.

 

The blond guy came into the sauna too after a short while and sat right next to me, in his shorts. He kept looking at me boldly, but never said a word. I returned a few looks but couldn't figure out what he is.  I wasn't even sure if he is asian although he could pass for a korean or japanese guy ---they love to dye their hair into a dirty blond.  At any rate, he is NOT attractive, so I kept to myself, enjoying the dry heat.

 

He got out. 

 

In came a naked guy. I saw him the first time I was here.  He's probably norweigian, muscular body, shaved head and very smooth body. Like first time I saw him, he seemed very comfortable naked, sitting down facing the entrance.

 

The blond asian came back. Naked this time and again sat next to me, blocking my view of the hot norweigian guy. 

 

I got out and went to the steam room.  Steam hissing quitely, moist thick and soothing, I had the room all to myself......but the blond asian had to come in again, and stand right next to me, this time with a half erection. 

 

I had to break the silence and asked in English: "Where're you from?"

 

He replied in English: "China. Are you Chinese too?"

 

"Yes." I swtiched to Chinese.

 

So we exchanged a few pleasantries but it didn't seem to kill it for him.  So I waited a little while, smiled at him and went out.  Just before I left, another naked asian guy came in.   He's got a southeast asian look, either vietnamese or thai but more on the ugly side.  Tanned body, inked.

 

What's with all these nakedness?!  Are these people really brave or have I become a prude staying in the US for too long, now ashamed of my body?   I don't know about the norweigian guy but the other 2 asian guys are obviously gay.  So it's a norm for them to cruise in nude, get aroused without any cover in a public gym?  What a sick twisted world this is and I must say I have to investigate more by coming here more often.

 

Special agent reporting from Beijing,

comrade chen